My Daily Pause

Now, my sons, listen to me;
pay attention to what I say.
Don’t let yourself be tricked by such a woman;
don’t go where she leads you.
She has ruined many good men,
and many have died because of her.
Her house is on the road to death,
the road that leads down to the grave. – Proverbs 7:24-27 NCV

Both Solomon and David fell to the temptation of adultery and lust and suffered because of it. Is there any wonder that Proverbs is full of warnings about these sins? In the end, neither the victim nor the guilty receives any joy from adultery. The Bible shows us over and over again how far this removes us from God.

In A Mini-Marriage Clinic, I mentioned a few of the basics I have noticed were the core of every long lived marriage. Checking your boundaries is a critical one that deserves daily attention. The “road to the grave” (Proverbs 7:27 NCV) is littered with those that didn’t honor the limits God inferred they would keep when they said their vows.

We spend so much time in the workplace that it becomes an excellent place to find ourselves in tempting situations. The opportunity to do normal business activities unaccompanied with a person that is not our spouse are plentiful and is often the doorway for those who stray. To avoid the temptation, a few simple rules built around the idea of checking our boundaries can go a long way:

• No unaccompanied lunches with a member of the opposite sex
• No traveling alone with a member of the opposite sex
• No flirting, “cute” comments or even overly familiar conversations

The two most important relationships in your life are with God and your spouse. When a marriage is centered on God, the bonds with both become unbreakable. Mentioning both lovingly at every opportunity keeps us off the dark path.

Daily Bible reading for June 12

Proverbs 7
Deuteronomy 14
Hosea 11:1-11
Philemon 1-3

Can a man carry fire next to his chest
and his clothes not be burned?

Or can one walk on hot coals
and his feet not be scorched? – Proverbs 6:27-28

Adultery is one of those sins that cut across several levels. From what I can tell from helping others who have dealt with it, it just isn’t very fun for either the innocent or the guilty party. Solomon says that the one who does it destroys himself, lacks sense and is despised. (Proverbs 6:20-35)

Just from informal observation, I can say that marriages that fail did so because a few basic steps were not followed. I also see people put more maintenance into their wealth, professional networking and hobbies than into their marriages. Interesting that they know that those things need attention to grow but wonder why their marriages aren’t great! (or failed for that matter)

While a 200 word essay and a Bible verse will not save a broken marriage, I offer you these basic building blocks that are common to all of the great, long lived marriages I’ve seen:

• Invest time in your relationship – Date night, share a hobby, just be together often
• Check your boundaries – Do not go anywhere unaccompanied with a member of the opposite sex
• Remember the risks -The one who cheats hurts their spouse, the kids, their parents, the in-laws and more

There is no quick and easy formula for a successful marriage, but working on it every day is the first step in building or rebuilding a strong and godly marriage.

Daily Bible reading for June 11

Proverbs 6:20-35
Deuteronomy 13
Hosea 10
Titus 3:12-15

1 Corinthians 7 gives a general outline of how marriage works by God’s rules along with some good advice by Paul.

The Proverbs writer gave us the blueprint for the kind of woman to look for and to be. The “Proverbs 31 Woman” is the backbone of her family and Christian men would do well to look for her.

The Good Wife

¹⁰ It is hard to find a good wife,
because she is worth more than rubies.
¹¹ Her husband trusts her completely.
With her, he has everything he needs.
¹² She does him good and not harm
for as long as she lives.
¹³ She looks for wool and flax
and likes to work with her hands.
¹⁴ She is like a trader’s ship,
bringing food from far away.
¹⁵ She gets up while it is still dark
and prepares food for her family
and feeds her servant girls.
¹⁶ She inspects a field and buys it.
With money she earned, she plants a vineyard.
¹⁷ She does her work with energy,
and her arms are strong.
¹⁸ She knows that what she makes is good.
Her lamp burns late into the night.
¹⁹ She makes thread with her hands
and weaves her own cloth.
²⁰ She welcomes the poor
and helps the needy.
²¹ She does not worry about her family when it snows,
because they all have fine clothes to keep them warm.
²² She makes coverings for herself;
her clothes are made of linen and other expensive material.
²³ Her husband is known at the city meetings,
where he makes decisions as one of the leaders of the land.
²⁴ She makes linen clothes and sells them
and provides belts to the merchants.
²⁵ She is strong and is respected by the people.
She looks forward to the future with joy.
²⁶ She speaks wise words
and teaches others to be kind.
²⁷ She watches over her family
and never wastes her time.
²⁸ Her children speak well of her.
Her husband also praises her,
²⁹ saying, “There are many fine women,
but you are better than all of them.”
³⁰ Charm can fool you, and beauty can trick you,
but a woman who respects the Lord should be praised.
³¹ Give her the reward she has earned;
she should be praised in public for what she has done.– Proverbs 31:10-31 NCV

The entire chapter of Proverbs 5 is a warning against adultery. As you your read it you can break it down into the following sub sections:

• A description of the ungodly woman (Proverbs 5:3-6)
• Avoid her (Proverbs 5:7-8)
• What happens to her partners (Proverbs 5:9-14)
• Cherish love with marriage (Proverbs 5:15-19)
• A sin against God (Proverbs 5:20-23)

Of particular beauty is the reminder to live within the bounds of a godly marriage:

¹⁵ Be faithful to your own wife,
just as you drink water from your own well.
¹⁶ Don’t pour your water in the streets;
don’t give your love to just any woman.
¹⁷ These things are yours alone
and shouldn’t be shared with strangers.
¹⁸ Be happy with the wife you married when you were young.
She gives you joy, as your fountain gives you water.
¹⁹ She is as lovely and graceful as a deer.
Let her love always make you happy;
let her love always hold you captive. – Proverbs 5:15-19 NCV